Jewels Down Below

Saturday, August 05, 2006

On a warm summer day

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics


Just stopped in to blow kisses to everyone!
-xoxo
Jasmine

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Just chillin' out!

Just chillin' out!
I hope all of you are doing all right. I am sorry for my lack of posts, but I have been really busy.
I love you all....

-xoxo
Jasmine

Sunday, April 02, 2006

In other words!

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads

40-ish..........................................49
Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone.
Athletic.......................................No breasts
Average looking............................Mooooooo.
Beautiful.....................................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure........................On medication.
Feminist.......................................Fat.
Free Spirit....................................Junkie.
Friendship first...............................Former Sl*t.
New-Age.......................................Body hair in wrong places.
Old-fashioned................................No BJ's.
Open-minded.................................Desperate.
Outgoing.......................................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..................................B*tch.
Voluptuous....................................Very Fat.
Large frame...................................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate...........................Stalker.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? I'd like to have sex with you.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

So, What would you say?

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready?
GO!!!
***First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second personand you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

***Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

***Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic!
Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it...

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
(Scroll down for answer.....)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer:
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.

***Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana 2. Nene 3. Nini 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO!
Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

***Okay, Now The Bonus Round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Answer:
He just has to open his mouth and ask...


-xoxo

Love you guys,

Jasmine

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A woman's world











Well?
Girls will be girls! ::wink::

~xoxo

Jasmine

Monday, March 06, 2006

Here are some reasons why people move to the South!







Just some of the reasons why I love living in the warm tropical waters!

Stay warm everyone!

::hugs::

-xoxo

Jasmine

Thursday, March 02, 2006

You poor guys!

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: May I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

SomeThings PMS Stands For:
* Pass My Shotgun
* Psychotic Mood Shift
* Perpetual Munching Spree
* Puffy Mid-Section
* People Make me Sick
* Provide Me with Sweets
* Pardon My Sobbing
* Pimples May Surface
* Pass My Sweatpants

I guess I am one of the lucky ones.
I truly do not suffer from PMS in this manner. I may get a little bloated and I do have cramps, but that is about it.
I do have several friends that do suffer, the same as the examples above (physically and mentally).
I don't know if I could live with myself if I had these symptoms...I am sorry for all of the gals (and men) that have to live with this.

::hugs and kisses to all::

-xoxo

Jasmine